Legalize 2D-Real People Marriages!

Legalize 2D-Real People Marriages!

Dirty Pair OAD 6The Telegraph (in the U.K.) has an article about a new push to have the Japanese law allow people to marry their favorite manga, anime, or game character. There’s apparently over 1000 signatures in the online petition, which will then be presented to the government. What?!

I understand the appeal of the 2D girl (speaking as a guy) and I think that most men do. I recall an episode of the British sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf where the characters of Lister and Cat are discussing the attractiveness of Betty Rubble and Wilma Flintstone, who’d they’d like to be with, etc. In World War II, hot babes were painted onto bombers and the like. So yeah, the appeal of the 2D woman is there.

Dirty Pair OVA 8From my own experience, I don’t remember ever thinking about 2D women as “attractive” until Robert showed me the world of anime and manga while in Japan, where I learned that in addition to being like normal cartoons and comics, many regular titles had nudity in them (Ranma 1/2 springs to mind, both in anime and manga) and that doesn’t touch the seinen/josei softcore stuff and the hardcore hentai titles. Then when Robert started watching Dirty Pair, I did admit to him that I thought Yuri was pretty hot. That admission on my part did not constitute some idea that I could fall in love with her or even marry her. Ugh.

While I find the idea of wanting to marry your favorite anime, manga, or game character to be sad, I sadly cannot say that I’m surprised. After all, in Japan the 2D fetish is quite strong. The sheer amounts of hentai manga, anime, and games proves that. Then on top of that, if there’s a manga, anime, or game that’s been created (pornographic or not), there’s an excellent chance that you can find an H-doujinshi on that title — the more popular the title, the greater variety of doujinshi there will be. If you haven’t done so, read the Genshiken manga series were this is the pursuit of the characters in that manga — H-doujinshi (and other stuff second). An insight into the mindset of finding 2D girls more comfortable for otaku guys can also be found there.

It is hard to believe that Japanese law will be changed to allow such marriages, but then again, with the worldwide push to have other couplings called marriage beyond one man and one woman, it is not outside of the realm of possibility that such nuttiness could in fact one day become law. This possibility has raised some questions among western anime and manga fans.

Watson asks, “How the bloody hell are you supposed to consummate it?”

Well, there are plenty of dakimakura (抱き枕) for sale in Japan — “hug pillows.” I’ll let you perform your own searches, but I’m sure you can find your favorite anime babe (regardless of age) as the casing for such pillows in various states of undress and “I want you” looks. ^_^;;;

If you are rich, you can score a custom made, life sized, fully functional doll made to look like your favorite anime babe (again, you can do your own searches).

Galen remarked, “So long as I get to claim my virtual waifu and our 30 virtual children as tax deductions, I don’t really care if I can’t touch her.”

Yeah, you may soon wish you had that many deductions if you live in the U.S. with our government about to tax and spend like mad. *_*

Derek asks, “But what if you virtually engage to Ryoko, and Ayeka objects?”

Heh!heh! Not only would Aeka object, but so would Sasami, Washu, Ryo-ohki, Mihoshi, and Noike (from the anime Tenchi Muyo! Ryo-ohki for those who don’t get the reference). Your only hope is to marry them all after getting a new law passed to allow marriage to multiple 2D girls of course. ^_~

Watson then asks a 2nd question, “And how about several men all wanting to marry the same character? Wouldn’t that count as bigamy? Polygamy is also illegal.”

As in the case of marrying multiple 2D partners, a law would have to be created to allow multiple men to marry the same 2D girl.

So, there you have it. In a world where strange things happen all the time, it is possible that one day, lonely otaku can marry their favorite 2D babe (or dude as the case may be). After all, they will never turn you down, always be there for you, and will be the perfect spouse. As you can see from these images, they are willing and waiting for you.

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4 Responses to “Legalize 2D-Real People Marriages!”

  1. Oh, this is too funny ANB. lol I didn’t know you had a Yuri fetish though.

  2. AstroNerdBoy says:

    Yeah, well that was a long time ago. ^_~

  3. Tyrenol says:

    And here I am, from California, a guy who voted “No” on the “Gay Marriage Ban” because I didn’t want to be part of the lot who dehumanizes human beings for sharing their love despite being the same gender.

    And then THIS makes news.

    I always thought that those who love inanimate objects, more than they’re able to love other human beings, need to seek psychological help. But that’s just my opinion, though.

  4. Tyciol says:

    In the end we all love objects, animate or inanimate, ‘sentient’ or not. It’s all relative.

    I’d vote against gay marriage because this only increases the amount of people who want to keep married people priviledged over non-married. I would have voted against interracial marriage for the same reason. The less people with the right to marry, the more people willing to vote to disband the idea.

    Marrieds get unfair tax breaks singles do not get, for no good reason. Marrying fictional characters sounds like a GREAT step to me, because then EVERYONE can get the break.

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